Day 14: Mother's Day

I stood up late last night--a.k.a. this morning-- to talk to my aunt, who wakes up at 2:00AM (to go the temple to pray--amazing!)-- to get something for my mom since it's my mom's birthday. I really didn't know what to do, since this is the first time ever that we're ever going to celebrate it. Every year, we always forget... except me; I happen to remember at around 10-11PM at night every year and saying something like "Oh my God! I can't believe we forgot your birthday this year again!" and getting the response "Today's my birthday?"

Anyways, I suggested my aunt to bring something cake-like, but not cake, since my mom does not like cake--to her, it's heart-attack with air pockets. Well, she says that for any baked good.... so I guess cake is more like heart-attack with air pockets and fat smothered on top. Either that, or she knew it was a lie. My aunt didn't believe that my mom wouldn't like cake (after all, who doesn't?) and suggested to get cake anyway.

My uncle took me to the bakery in town on his motorcycle/vespa. It's been so long since I last rode one of those things--I had forgotten how unsafe it felt @@. It's just as my aunt said: 不是鐵包肉, 是肉包鐵. In other words, if you drive a car, it's metal covering flesh; if you drive a motorcycle, it's flesh covering metal. Anyway, the bakery wasn't far and the road wasn't too bumpy. At least I had something to hold on to. But on the way back was a different story TT. The plan was to get a 10-inch cake, but the bakery they had in mind was closed, so we went to the bakery next door (that must be bad for business), which sold only 8-inch cakes and 14-inch cakes. So, because it was better to overcompensate than undercompensate, we got the 14-inch cake... but it made so I had to hold the cake box with two hands. That meant no holding on to the motorcycle. Can't believe I got the cake back in one piece.

The cake was great. It was a fruit-taro cake. Whoo~~ Asian fruit cake XD.

Day 13: Relatives Visiting

Today, my mom's brother came again, this time with much more time on his hands. He took us to the port city Lanfangau to eat fresh seafood. @@ 2 hour drive. Oh BTW, I forgot to mention that he drives a taxi. And apparently, it is an unspoken rule that all taxi drivers are allowed to drive recklessly--we must have passed like... 20 people on the way and 6 other taxis must have passed us.

Anyways, when we got there, he ordered a big red snapper to be prepared in three ways:

First way? What other than sashimi! YAY. Anyway, that used up one side of the fish.

Second way? Freshly seared snapper. How do I know it's fresh? It was being cooked in front of my eyes. That took up the other side of the fish.

Third way? Nothing of course! How would you have something left after taking the flesh from both sides of the fish? It's soup using the left over of the bones from the fish (and fish head). (For those who don't get the bad humor above, here's a hint: in my eyes, soups don't count as a course.)

Afterwards, we went to Yilan to a public hot spring, since my mom says hot springs have to power to reduce the itching caused by bug bites. Why public hot springs? Because people have to strip in public to get in--and that we mostly gotten bitten on the legs, which can be soaked easily without much nudity (and that we're asian. it's free.).

Anyway, the first part of the springs we went to was the back end, where the water was relatively cold for people who wanted to just dip their feet in the water. The second part we went to was too hot because it was right where the hot water was being pumped out. Finally, we followed the hot water down to the end, where the water temperature was perfect because the hot water had time to cool off. Walking in as random people and going in trying things out until you find something just right.... remind you of anything?

When we were done there, we started our way back to Linkou... @@ another 2 hour drive. When we got back (at like 9 or 10pm), we went to the film studio to visit my mom's aunt. Seeing how I'm not an old person, I couldn't participate in conversation, so I wandered back to the pool table to suck some more. XD.

Day 12.2: Visiting Relatives 3 (of them)

After playing in the dirt the whole morning, I washed up to get ready to meet up with my uncle (from my dad's side) to see my grandmother (also from my dad's side). We met up in Banqiao, where my grandmother is at. She lives in a nursing home because she has Alzheimer's Disease and is unable to live unassisted. When we got there, it was a pretty sad sight...

From what I heard from my uncle, Rizan, and his wife, my grandma has been in another nursing home before, and has been neglected during her stay there, resulting in temporary paralysis of her head--rendering her unable to talk or even move her lips. Fortunately, now she's talking, but it's rather "incoherent"--I swear I heard legitimate Taiwanese phrases coming out of her mouth, but everyone keeps saying that they don't understand.

And I just don't approve of how my mom and uncle treat grandma. They talk to her and pet her like she's a child, an idiot, a dog. It's just seems so demeaning... but they're probably treating her correctly--the more blunt, direct affection, the more grandma can connect to it, I suppose.

Afterwards, Uncle Rizan (OMG, A NAME I FINALLY KNOW) took us out to dinner with even more more generic Taiwanese food. I really like this uncle a lot, actually. He's not very talkative, but when he talks, he's very blunt and direct and usually full of good humor.

Day 12: What a barren wasteland!

I'm not sure if I have mentioned it before, but I'm living in this city called Linkou which is near Taipei (in distance-- a darned 40 minute drive though!). It's an place with lots of open, underdeveloped land, but the land is poor quality. Nethertheless, Taiwan is a small island, and land is in low supply. Thus, the only ones who could afford land are rich people. The main problem? Location, location, LOCATION.

With the bestest-est view ever.

Oh well, you know what they say: When life gives you dirt, make mud balls:

Well, the saying is close enough. Making one of these takes a long while outside... in the hot sun... with no AC or fans or shade... I think I'll just take bags of this dirt and do it at home. Weather's better in the US to make better balls anyway.

Day 11.2: Visiting People Who Are Related to You, But Don't Count as Relatives

Later, we went to eat out in a hot pot restaurant with my mom's childhood neighbor. Ironically enough, the restaurant was only a block away from where my mom's old house used to stand. Anyway, the restaurant was all-you-can-eat hotpot for about 12 USD, and they had a huge selection, though mostly I settled on clams, oysters and abalone--Seafood FTW! They also had live shrimp... or was it prawns?... that they had to serve with lid on, since once you removed the lid, the shrimp-prawns would just wriggle their way off the dish. It was kinda sad to see the shrimp-prawns struggle--like when you try to pick them up with chopsticks, they wriggle vigorously. And when you boil them alive, they start splashing their way to the top. You actually had to keep them underwater to keep them from splashing you.

Afterwards, we visited another of my mom's old neighbors, nicknamed Mami. She has been a motherly figure to my mom when she was growing up. Other than that, I don't know who she is.

Once again, special thanks to Andrew for chaffeuring!

Day 11: Visiting Relatives 2

We went to my aunt's (who is really my mother's cousin... so she's a second cousin I guess?) production studio, which used to be a branch off of my uncle's film studio. All they really do there is provide the equipment and stuff to make promotional movie trailers and posters, so it's really small.

Anyway, there was really nothing to do there, so my mom got her cousin's son to take me and my older brother (yes people, OLDER. Now stop thinking I have a younger brother) to Xi Men Di, which is a place for the younger generation to hang out. And when I say "got", I mean forced through constant pestering and lies saying that I always wanted to go there, even though I've never heard of the place before. And when I mean a place for the younger generation to hang out, I mean outside mall--having all the benefits of a mall: really big, impossible to navigate, merchandise with outrageous prices, really crowded, etc. and sharing none of the drawbacks--no air conditioner, no map, no easily accessible bathroom, etc.

Anyway, having nothing in mind to buy here (since neither my brother, my cousin or I is fashion-conscious), we went to play pool at an internet cafe... go figure. We played an odd vairant of pool called 21, which uses point-scoring system rather than a target ball system. Guess what the goal of the game is. I'll give you a hint: it has to do with 21. Figure it out? It's to reach a certain number of points (usually around 60) by pocketing balls. Where does the 21 come in? Nowhere.

Day 10: Road Trip 2

We went to a park in Yehliu, which is supposedly the most northern part of Taiwan. At least I hope so. My mom's kept changing her mind of which is the true northern part of Taiwan. Doesn't quite look like it on the map. Oh well. Took forever to hike-walk to the fourth most northern part... IT'S TOO HOT/HUMID IN TAIWAN!

Anyway... the camera I was using to take pictures ran out of batteries mid-trip, so I had to use our crappy camera to take pictures. Good news is that I can get the data directly--so now I can share the famous "Queen's Head" at this park....

... and the failed camera

Day 9: Nothing 3

Almost beat all the Wesnoth campaigns.... sooooo bored.

Day 8: Nothing 2 (do)

This entry contains no blog material.

Day 7: And on my seventh day, I don't get to rest. TT

Woke up at around 7ish. Went down to breakfast buffet. Really stupid... We got 2 rooms, and only got 2 breakfast vouchers... though there's 4 of us. Oh well, my brother and my uncle aren't breakfast people, so it worked out.

We were picked up by the same government people, and took us around sightseeing and stuff. I kinda liked the Dome of Light: Wind, Fire and Time. It's by this Italian guy with a wierd name: Narcisus something.

We went to eat at this one place. You had to buy 100NT tickets (3 USD) and walk around a huge ring. When you find a dish you want, you pick it up and use up a ticket voucher... kinda like dim sum, except you go to the food, not the food goes to you. Interesting idea, but it'll probably never pick up in America. The name of the place was interesting too... It's called Wan Er Restaurant. It used to be called Wan San Restaurant, but this place about 2 blocks down (yes, TWO BLOCKS) had the same name, and one of them had the change their name. XD

Took the bullet train back home... this time at 36 USD (Ouch!). Oh well, sleep time. XD

Day 6.2: The World Games at Kaohsiung?

What? What the hell is the World Games? At Kaohsiung? This summer? RIGHT AFTER OUR VISA EXPIRES AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE? WOW.

Day 6: To Kaohsiung

My uncle said that we were leaving at 9, so I woke up at 8 to get ready. But like all Asian, he ran on Asian time, and came to pick us up at 10:30. We took the bullet train... well at least I think it was a bullet train--they called it "High Speed Rail." The fare was about 30 USD one way. @@ Whatever... my uncle's a millionaire (in USD). Mom said it's about the distance from San Jose to Los Angeles. LIES. I just checked it; she's off by 220km, or 137 miles, or 69%.

Anyway, when we got off, we were greeted by people, whom I first took for as relatives but later found out they were Kaohsiung government officials. Wow. That's a lot of fame, or wealth, or power to be recognized--not just rocognized, greeted-- by the government. Apparently, they want my uncle to invest in a film studio in Kaohsiung to increase tourism to their area. And their method of securing the contract? Sucking up. They pretty much took us all around Kaohsiung in their special government van. XD

First stop? Kaohsiung Film Archive. What is it? It's a place where all of Taiwanese film history is archived from the old old Taiwanese movies to the USA film Brokeback Mountain (because the director is Taiwanese. lol). Actually, the archive was supposed to be closed today, but we got a special tour led by the archive manager herself.

Other stops? Sightseeing. God I hate sightseeing in Taiwan. All you see are the same things: buildings, buildings that look like they are about to collapse, things you can't really call buildings and trees that are about to destroy buildings. We did get to see the Love River. My mom says it's very clean since the last time she went there 30 years ago. It's still really dirty now.

For dinner, we ate at a Japanese restruant--it's the closest we'll get to authentic Japanese food anyway. Sashimi, sashimi and sashimi. Yay! The restruant owner came up and met my uncle. She then sent up a dish herself free-of-charge. (Man, how famous/rich/powerful is my uncle?)

Finally, we went to our hotel called The Splendor at Kaohsiung at 85 Sky Tower. Or perhaps it's the other way around. Oh well. Free toiletries XD.

Day 5.2: Night time.

So after playing Wesnoth the whole morning, we finally got to do something. My (film studio) uncle took us out to eat at a restruant--the same restaurant we ate at yesterday. Yay, more more generic Taiwanese food. He also said that he's going to Gaoxuong (Kaohsiung) for business, and he wants to take us with him. Yay.

Oh, and the below post is intentionally wrong.

Day 5: And on the Seventh Day, the Lord rested.

This post is intentionally left blank.

Day 4: Visiting Relatives 1

Today, we went to visit my brother's nanny. My mom's a horrible guesser; she mistook "clues" over the phone leading her to believe that my brother's nanny was sick. She even made my brother cry. Anyway, she's all fine and dandy when we met her. Then we had lunch with my godmother at Fridays. (Yeah... there's a T.G.I.F. here >>) She's planning on taking me and my brother to Jinmen to snorkle.

Later, we took a boat across a river to get to some city supposedly well-known for having a good night market. On the way there, my cousin's 2-year-old daughter kept screaming--not crying. She's soooo loud. We only got to look at the shops on the riverside... then we had to go back home, since she wouldn't move anymore. Oh well, I was tired too. XD

On the way back, we stopped by a restruant to eat: more generic Taiwanese cuisine.

Special thanks to my cousin Andrew being our chauffeur today. Man, does he have a lot of patience.

Day 3: Road Trip

Sometime early in the morning ~2-3 - Woke up. Had coffee cake. Cake too sweet. Left soon after.

4:00 AM - Arrived at a temple. Aunt, uncle and mom go to pray. Still sleepy.

6:00 AM - Started on our road trip through north of Taiwan. Got breakfast- fried noodles and sticky rice. Rice too plain.

7:30 AM - Visited a "resort." Took pictures.

8:00 AM - Left "resort." Drove up a mountain.

11:00 AM - Landslide blocked road. Called all the workers--none picked up. Some guy driving a bulldozer cleared the road. Note to self: tell gov't to fire those workers.

11:30 AM - Reached top of the mountain. All downhill from here.

12:40 PM - Reached a small town. Ate lunch at a family restaurant.Total cost: 7 USD for 5 people. Soon after took a nap.

2:00 PM - Woke up. Witnessed uncle's crazy driving. Brother's of opinion.

4:30 PM - Finally back. On internet.

7:00 PM - Mom's brother visited. Brought tea with him. Very bitter.

Yeah... I'm lazy with this post. I'll redo it when I get the pictures I took.

Day 2: Tweet

Brother and mother talking about family issues. >> This trip to Taiwan was supposed to be a vacation. For me.


Yay~~ noon + futon ftw.


Family is really suspicious about my uncle. Maybe if they played their cards a little differently... Mom sucks at lying...


Mom says it's better to go outside during the weekdays when it's not crowded. It's Thursday. Why am I inside then?


BORED.


REALLY BORED.


FUTON! XD


REALLY REALLY BORED.


So bored, I resorted to replaying the games I have on my laptop.


Damn. I totally asked for it this time. Need to wake up at 2:00 AM so my aunt and uncle can show us around. Why 2 in the morning? To beat the traffic. Or to punish me. One or the other.


Best second day of vacation. EVAR.

Day 1.2: Going out

So we went to my uncle's filming studio to... do something or... nothing.... My god it's hot here. It's only like 90 degrees Fahrenheit, but it's SOOO humid. I'm always finding myself sweating. Anyway, we went inside one of the buildings and watched people film--well, more like get ready to film--a music video. Their cameramen suck >>. Oh well, at least the studio has AC. YAY for AC. Anyways... my brother and I played some pool until our uncle came back from a business trip, who then talked about business and stuff.

After dinner at the studio (they have a kitchen for people living at the studio), our uncle took us to Taipei city to run some errands, then took us to a night market. Everything is so cheap there-- food is like 20-40 NT for smaller dishes and 100-200 for larger ones. (1 USD ~= 34 NT, perhaps higher--don't really know the conversion rate nowadays). We had shaved ice and "Big sausage wrapped over small sausage". Now, that sounds disgusting or really unhealthy or worse, disgustingly unhealthy, but it really is just the Taiwanese equivalent on a hot dog. They took a sausage made of ginger+rice and other stuff, cut in halfway open like a bun and put a Taiwanese sausage in between. Kinda wished I had gotten pearl milk tea. Oh well... there's still 29 days. I wish I had money to spend... I wanna try lots of the food.

Day 1: Arrival

So my mom's younger sister (my aunt) picked us up in her van and took us to her house. It's 3 stories high in the outskirts of Taipei. It's in a place with undeveloped land for rich people to purchase and build houses. >>. Yay, rich relatives. Anyway, we're right next to my rich uncle's (who is really my mom's cousin... so I guess second cousin) house, which is 4 stories tall @@ (he even has an elevator). Since we arrived at 6:00 am, we had nothing to do. My brother and our cousin Jack (uncle's son) got really bored and started searching for hot Taiwanese girls on the TV. Why Taiwanese? Because he wanted to a prove a point that most--if not all--the people on TV were ugly... which is true to a point. Yeah. That bored.

And it's really hard to get internet access here. I have to use their computer since they use a program thingy to log in. There's wireless, but they don't know the password, since it was Jack's cousin (fourth cousin?) who set up the network.

Day 0.3: On the plane

Ugh... 13 hour plane ride.

Really bad luck this time. Got a seat next to a mother and 3 young children: one only a few months old, one about 1 or 2, the last about 3. Stupid weater caused turbulence, and the baby started crying and crying and crying and crying.... mind you, our plane departed at 1:35 am and arrived at 6:00 am in Taiwan. We're supposed to get sleep to get adjusted to Taiwan time but.... >>

Entertainment sucked too. Showed Race to Witch Mountain, 12 Pounds, and New to Town. And they classified Witch Mountain as an action-adventure movie. Which it is not. And the audio kept dying periodically. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to blame it on the weather.

That's how I spent 13 hours of my life.

On the plus side, when we were about to land (YAY, FINALLY), I looked out the window. Yay~ pretty clouds. There's like 5 or 6 layers of clouds and from above, it looked like the clouds formed a soft layer of white fluffy earth. (I want marshmellows!)

And when we landed, my brother said he really needed to go to the bathroom. And that 3-year-old kid had the nerve to "SHH!" my brother. Yeah, why don't you SHH! yourself >>

Day 0.2: On the bus

So finally at around 10, my mother, brother and I got on the charter bus at Milpitas to SFO. Ugh... my mom brought LOTS and LOTS of stuff. 4 F(*&ING BAGS. The limit is TWO PER PERSON. >>. Not to mention, when she was getting on the bus, she and her huge backpack (seriously, it's bigger than mine) knocked down the driver's coffee--didn't phase her though. She's apparently excited about the trip. I'm not. I really have no idea what I'm gonna do there.

There's about a total of 10 people in the bus. It's really peacefully quiet. We made one stop at Cupertino, and there's at least 20 people there waiting to get on. Well, at least there's room in the back. Supposedly everyone on the bus is taking the same flight as we were: China Airlines 003 to Taipei. And yet, I saw a middle-aged white man and his 4-year-old kid, a Vietnamese couple and an Indian family. What the hell? Did Taiwan's tourism really sell to these people?


Anyway, for the rest of the trip, the people in the back COULD NOT SHUT UP. IT WAS SOOOO LOUD. AND THEY KEPT TALKING AND TALKING. AND JUST WHEN YOU THINK THEY STOPPED... THEY KEPT GOING AND GOING. AND GOING. AND GOING. It's past 10 guys. Respect the night >>.

And on a random note: our bus driver tried to pass through a yellow light 20 meters away. No doubt he didn't make it. Could've been stopped right there and postponed the trip.

Day 0: Before leaving

Okay... So I'm up late because I'm trying to get ready for the flight to Taiwan on Tuesday at 1:35 AM. Man... I'm so bored, I'm creating this blog >>. Anyway, I haven't finished packing yet--I'm really lazy... and well, I'm not really looking forward to this trip. My mom's been stressing out about family matters, turning this 1-month vacation into a Kore- I mean Taiwanese drama.

I have no clue what I'm going to do there; my mom has been saying that she would take me on a whole island tour, but nothing has been booked or scheduled, so I don't think that'll happen. I don't know my relatives very well.... My family doesn't keep in touch with them a lot.

And I just have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I'm going to get stopped by airplane security for baggage or something. It's gonna be another deja vu moment... I just know it.



The main purpose of this blog is to alleviate my boredom. The secondary purpose is to make an online archive of what happened--I have very poor memory. Plus, I need more practice writing.